𝚊𝚐ε𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚝𝚘𝚗 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
counterblows) wrote2018-05-27 04:24 pm
counterblows) wrote2018-05-27 04:24 pm
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( action | stone of far speech | private correspondence )
( action | stone of far speech | private correspondence )
[Church waves a hand. Wave away the concern. It's fine. It's fine, it's okay, just a slip, we're not talking about it.]
I mean--you. Did you--?
[No. Why the fuck would Wash have ever missed him? He didn't talk to Epsilon because he didn't want to almost die again, and the short while he knew Wash, they were at each others' throats. Besides. They're here now. Better or worse.
He moves for the door.]
Never--nevermind, it doesn't matter.
I mean--you. Did you--?
[No. Why the fuck would Wash have ever missed him? He didn't talk to Epsilon because he didn't want to almost die again, and the short while he knew Wash, they were at each others' throats. Besides. They're here now. Better or worse.
He moves for the door.]
Never--nevermind, it doesn't matter.
...
[He has no idea how to answer that.]
[Does he? Can he? Does he have the right to say that he...considering their relationship, the scramble of uncertainty and back-and-forth and constant sniping and then outright hatred and denial and then, finally, release - does he have any right to say that he missed him?]
I'm sorry.
For what I did to you.
And I would've taken it back if I could.
[He has no idea how to answer that.]
[Does he? Can he? Does he have the right to say that he...considering their relationship, the scramble of uncertainty and back-and-forth and constant sniping and then outright hatred and denial and then, finally, release - does he have any right to say that he missed him?]
I'm sorry.
For what I did to you.
And I would've taken it back if I could.
[He stops in the doorway but doesn't turn.]
Stop, Wash, stop, just--just fuckin' stop, okay!
[It's good to hear, but he can't. He can't hear it right now. His brain's sitting in a tire rolling down a very rocky hill while buzzing on a pot of coffee, everything's running overtime to process and while he wears his emotions on his metallic sleeve, he's never been good with them.
An apology's a good place to start. Rather than a good place to end.]
You can't take it back. It's done. And no god damn amount of my being here is going to change what happened! It means even if I could leave, I can't, because going home means I will cease to exist!
So congratulations, Wash--you've exorcised all your demons and busted all your ghosts! And now this ghost is gonna go fuck off and make himself useful!
[He needs air and space and maybe a place to yell and kick things without people giving a fuck. He steps out, only to return a few short moments later.]
And I'm stealing your cat! C'mon, Ami, let's get you some sun.
Stop, Wash, stop, just--just fuckin' stop, okay!
[It's good to hear, but he can't. He can't hear it right now. His brain's sitting in a tire rolling down a very rocky hill while buzzing on a pot of coffee, everything's running overtime to process and while he wears his emotions on his metallic sleeve, he's never been good with them.
An apology's a good place to start. Rather than a good place to end.]
You can't take it back. It's done. And no god damn amount of my being here is going to change what happened! It means even if I could leave, I can't, because going home means I will cease to exist!
So congratulations, Wash--you've exorcised all your demons and busted all your ghosts! And now this ghost is gonna go fuck off and make himself useful!
[He needs air and space and maybe a place to yell and kick things without people giving a fuck. He steps out, only to return a few short moments later.]
And I'm stealing your cat! C'mon, Ami, let's get you some sun.
You think that's why I wanted -
[No. No. Shut up. Shut up and just - ]
[Closes his eyes, clenches his fists, shuts his mouth. Straightens, and lets him go. There's nothing he can say or do to make it better. The most he can give Church now is the one thing this conversation hasn't allowed, and that's space.]
[So he stays quiet, and lets him go.]
[No. No. Shut up. Shut up and just - ]
[Closes his eyes, clenches his fists, shuts his mouth. Straightens, and lets him go. There's nothing he can say or do to make it better. The most he can give Church now is the one thing this conversation hasn't allowed, and that's space.]
[So he stays quiet, and lets him go.]
The entire experience of being a demon?
[There's a lot he could say about that, but for such an immediate conversation he's just gonna go surface level:]
Not that bad until I got here. I have to eat and sleep now. Extremely inconvenient.
[There's a lot he could say about that, but for such an immediate conversation he's just gonna go surface level:]
Not that bad until I got here. I have to eat and sleep now. Extremely inconvenient.
Sounds like an inconvenience.
[wash no one can tell you're being sarcastic over text]
[wash no one can tell you're being sarcastic over text]
Sleeping is the absolute worst.
What if someone comes along and stabs you?
What if someone comes along and stabs you?
Is this something you generally worry about in your waking hours?
I'm just wondering if you've done anything that would warrant feeling like you're going to be stabbed any minute.
Oh. This is some kind of demon interrogation, isn't it?
[He thought we were just having a conversation.]
Not here, no.
[He thought we were just having a conversation.]
Not here, no.
[It's never "just" a conversation with Agent Washington.]
Not here.
So you have at home.
Not here.
So you have at home.
Not necessarily stabbed. Strictly speaking, I'm far more likely to have my atoms scattered to the suns. That's a traditional demon punishment. But you know, if Shawn had the opportunity to stab me...
I smuggled some humans out of Hell, and that was very frowned upon by everyone.
I smuggled some humans out of Hell, and that was very frowned upon by everyone.
That sounds like a nice thing to have done for them.
They're doing fine. Made it all the way back to Earth, for a while!
The implication that it was temporary doesn't make it sound like very much of a success.
Well, some other demons followed us eventually, and we had to flee back to the afterlife. But they're safe again for the moment - turns out it was never possible for them to earn their way into heaven, so the Judge granted me a reprieve while I try to prove why that sucks.
You realize a lot of these concepts are borderline myth where other people come from, right?
That doesn't mean they aren't real for me. It's a multiversal hub, these things happen.
You drop these kinds of things on everyone unannounced?
[Just saying, all right? Wash, he can handle it. He can always handle it. It's just that he's, to his knowledge, the exception as opposed to the rule.]
[Just saying, all right? Wash, he can handle it. He can always handle it. It's just that he's, to his knowledge, the exception as opposed to the rule.]
I mean, yeah
That's my entire life
Should I be giving everybody a gentle crash course before I start conversations?
That's my entire life
Should I be giving everybody a gentle crash course before I start conversations?
Nobody's freaked out yet
I'm not interested in pretending to be a regular human, that would just be a vast web of lies
I'm not interested in pretending to be a regular human, that would just be a vast web of lies
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